Remaining Optimistic in the Face of Uncertainty
-
by Christa Chambers-Price, Price Design Group
"Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it,
we can never do anything wise in this world."
-Helen Keller
Optimism. Keep a stiff upper lip. Be strong, a new day is coming. How do you remain optimistic when you are standing in the Salvation Army with your little girl in tow to get bread so that everyone can eat until the next payday?
How do you remain optimistic when your first "big" contract moves the payday out a week further from your expectation and a week closer to financial disaster?
How do you remain optimistic when your partner informs you that there is yet another competitor who is offering similar services at a cheaper price and guess what, they're backed by a "Uncle Pete" who has money to burn?
On those days, I have to ask, were those cubicles really that bad? Is this what my good friend, Maria Thompson, president of T/J Technologies, a multi-million dollar technology company, meant by "feast or famine?"
Yes, indeed.
How do you cope on these days of madness and uncertainty? First let us examine what I'd like to call The Four Stages of Stress Madness - an Entrepreneur's Hell.
My first reaction is my stress level rises to a fevered pitch. Then, the tears come because of the frustration of not quite knowing what to do next. Then, I get angry because of misinformed decisions I made that cost the company money and precious time. Then, I shut down because every emotion has been spent.
- So there is it, the four stages of an entrepreneur's stress management:
Stage One - Emotions in warp-overdrive
Stage Two - Tears and frustration
Stage Three - Anger
Stage Four - Collapse
We all have different coping skills for dealing with stress. These four stages are cause for some interesting analysis.
At stage one, my first reaction to a problem was to rush out to try and "fix" it. Oh, I can be resourceful when my back is against the wall. I revel in my ability to hustle. Hustling was almost an extreme sport to me. "Let's see how close to the edge can I push this so that I can rush out and play hero and save myself!" Just as my Aunt Sue Ray, who has been in business for twelve years, she knows her accountant would just "love" to see her method of "Creative Accounting." You've heard it before, we probably have all types of "creative" ways of surviving from month to month. As business owners, we'll do WHATEVER it takes to survive. Pretty insane process if you ask any sane person.
Insane or not, it is a part of us. However, the interesting caveat to this method is that what happens when your hustling brings you to the wrong conclusion. Perhaps the problem does not call for using your "bag of tricks."
Nevermind reason, instead of rationally taking apart the problem, let's move to the next stage: Tears: time to fill up the Nile. There is something about a good cry. It's cleansing, refreshing, however, it also can be an incredible waste of time. We have all heard our mothers or aunts say, "Don't cry over spilled milk." If the nasty deed is done and you are suffering the consequences, then get to work on the solution and wallowing in a pity party should not be part of the plan. In my world, no, the pity party is the first necessary step to healing and understanding the reality of the situation. You see not only is the milk spilt but also it's curdled and the stench would have left a permanent stain in my entire resolve. Forget it, I'm going to have a good cry and release those toxic endorphins.
Of course, my tears are not reserved for just this uncomfortable moment. These tears are also for the months of work, the nights up until dawn working with little seen result, the phone calls never returned, the contracts cancelled, and oh by the way, the boyfriend who left you, the day you fell off of your bike, the moment ET died, and on and on. Sheer madness! Oh, why did I leave that job?
Well, after the tears have fallen, I would feel slightly better but has the problem been solved? No, just more time has ticked away. Now, I get angry and like a rolling storm cloud, my tears are blown away and replaced with unforgiving bolts of venom and self-deprecating fury. "How could I have possibly gotten myself into this mess?"
Then, during the irrational rant, I just collapse. Every emotion has been spent, and the only choice at this point is to make two decisions: "Quit" or "Keep Going."
Quitting means that I'd always have that title, "Well, I used to have my own business, but you know, I was a loser because I couldn't tell my behind from a hole in the wall. I also fell apart at the first sign of rocky waters and oh, by the way, did I tell you that, the entire business world is racist and hates women, yea that's it!"
Well, one impression that will be cast is: LOSER.
Now in some cases, the individual really should quit because perhaps that individual is not qualified to run the business or be in that industry.
But what if you are qualified and you do have the talent and you have invested hundreds upon thousands of dollars into having the right knowledge and equipment. Then here's the news flash: you pick yourself up (or what's left of yourself) and keep going.
Now we are starting to get closer to what it really takes to run and survive in business: guts and nerves of steel.
One of the reasons that I wanted to write my book was to share real experiences with you. I had spent enough money and time reading the "success stories" in business books and magazines, the stories that lasted all of two paragraphs that described that even through the trials and tribulations, they persevered and now they own half of their city.
What I wanted to create was an opportunity for you to read the stories for those who have made it, and experience an authentic and unabashedly real account of their climb up the ladder of success. I'll bare my soul if it will help someone else to cope and ensure another sister in business that they are not alone.
What did these individuals have to give up in order to succeed?
Now that they have attained their success, are they still happy, was their success all that they expected it to be?
Great questions. What I am hearing from some of the more "seasoned" members of our sisterhood is that the struggle never stops. Each new rung of success brings different levels of challenges.
Sure, it's nice when your business is finally making money and everyone can breath a sigh of relief, but the next problem may be that you now must motivate individuals who support your organization.
The sacrifices we face when we take on this responsibility are both describable and indescribable. The describable sacrifices are giving up sleep, going shopping or out to dinner to keep money in the business. These sacrifices are seen as more short term and even bearable.
The indescribable sacrifices are the hours upon hours that are spent away from friends and family. Those hours cannot be replaced. Another sacrifice is the neglect of ourselves. The fight to keep a business going can take so many resources out of you, both physically and mentally. Again, these resources cannot be replaced unless we make a conscious decision to make the time. However, difficult times like the ones I just described are the dues paying opportunities that strengthen you. Believe me, a new day will come, and you will have your time in the sun.
So, how do you tap back into that kernel of energy that propelled you to start your venture? Think back to when you said, "enough is enough."
Remember how powerful you felt when you said, "I'm not going to put up with this anymore." When you told friends and family, their astonished stares could do nothing to your resolve. This difficult wrinkle you may be struggling with is no different. This is just a test of many trials and tribulations with the possibility of having either stunning glory or defeat.
We are ready to accept the glory but want to bolt away from defeat or the possibility of defeat. I personally have a difficult time losing or conceding defeat. Being a admirer of athletics, I have always enjoyed watching Olympic athletes compete.
Now, what would always inspire me was not necessarily their actual competition, which was always thrilling. But I would always be inspired by the exposé that would give you the context of what allowed them to be there in the first place.
Perhaps, they endured a life threatening disease or year after year of being "turned away" from their big moment. People love the story of the underdog. The support is infectious and when everyone is behind an athlete, you can almost feel an entire stadium or world pooling their collective spirits together to "lift" this individual to greatness.
This spirit or feeling of camaraderie is so necessary when you are experiencing a low/slow point in your business. It is so difficult to be excited about planning or moving forward in your business when the last thing you want to do is to expose possibly yourself to more pain. But I urge you to remember that you are not alone and there are plenty of women who believe in you. Also, remember that old adage,"This too shall pass."
© by Christa Chambers-Price. All rights reserved.
Christa Chambers-Price is a graduate of The University of Michigan. She has been president of The Price Design Group, LLC in Ann Arbor, Michigan for the last 3 years. This award winning design team has been recognized nationally.
Christa is married and is the mother of two young daughters. Her interests are reading and watching science fiction movies.
Telephone: (734) 769-4920
Web Site: www.suite101.com/myhome.cfm/maintainingmotivation
